For anyone going through a divorce or if you know someone going through a divorce experience, I've been there and gone through it, and moved past it, but I know this is one of the parts that is hardest to explain to people who haven't been through it, and not always easy to ask for help with, please share if you think this might support anyone:
Divorce is not just an ending; it is a profound transformation, one that carries the weight of deep grief and the raw ache of withdrawal. Whether it is a long time coming or a sudden end, a healthy relationship that changed or a toxic mess, it’s the loss of a shared life, a future once dreamed of together, and the rhythms of a relationship that had become familiar. But unlike death, where closure is final, divorce is complicated by the presence of the person you are grieving. They are still here—perhaps co-parenting with you, showing up in social circles, or simply lingering in your thoughts. The grief is not just about what was lost, but about learning how to exist in a new reality where the person you once turned to may now feel like a stranger or is no longer available to you for the things you leaned on them for.
At the same time, divorce can feel like withdrawal—your mind and body still wired for the connection, even if it wasn’t always healthy or fulfilling. Love, even when painful, creates patterns that don’t just disappear when the relationship ends. There may moments where there is an ache to reach out, to seek familiar comfort, even if it no longer serves you. The process of letting go can feel like an emotional detox, one that asks you to sit in discomfort while your heart rewires itself for something new.
But within this pain is an invitation—to meet yourself with the deepest compassion, to honor your healing, and to trust that this unraveling is making space for something more whole, more true. This is not about “getting over it” quickly, but about walking through it with gentleness, allowing yourself to feel everything while knowing that you will not always feel this way. The grief and longing are not signs of weakness but proof of your capacity to love deeply. And just as you once loved another, now is the time to turn that love toward yourself—to hold yourself with tenderness as you rebuild, to embrace your own strength as you step forward, and to trust that with time, your heart will find it's way and you will build a new life that is good.
If you know someone going through a divorce, remember that they are navigating a loss that is both visible and invisible. Just like with any grief or major illness, they need love, support, and understanding. Reach out, check in, offer a meal, a listening ear, or simply let them know you are there. Even the smallest gestures—sending a message, validating their pain, showing up in quiet ways—can help them feel less alone. Healing is not meant to be done in isolation, and your kindness can be the steady light that helps guide them through. Divorce is hard, doing it alone is even harder. xo ellie
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